“I Found This In A Newspaper” by Matthew Nemeth

New York is pregnant. “The Times” leaked the story this morning. No word yet on the child’s gender, though initial reports suggest it will be, at the very least, bi-curious. Doctors estimate the due date to be the third of July, or sometime around Christmas. The progeny is believed to be mixed race, so it will be handsome, though oft confused. The pregnancy comes as … Continue reading “I Found This In A Newspaper” by Matthew Nemeth

“30th Birthday Party” by Jackie Sherbow

The acceleration of gravity is 9.875 m/s2 and after 4 beers I’ll fall on Jackson Heights concrete. My ankle boots cost $30 “on-sale from 80” and I’ll vow to throw them in the trash (which I will do, the next day, hungover). I’ll yell about the “military- industrial shoe complex.” The ABV is 4.5% and that didn’t use to do it. I’ll blame the shoes, … Continue reading “30th Birthday Party” by Jackie Sherbow