Congratulations, you are a sexual offender! by Inès Giudici

As a man, you might have pressed or clicked on this article’s title a little bit harder than usual. Maybe you opened this tab thinking, “great, another misandrist bitch insulting us.” Truly, I am flattered by the attention—after all, isn’t this what women thrive off of?  More seriously, I am glad you are here, reading these lines. All jokes aside, we can all agree on … Continue reading Congratulations, you are a sexual offender! by Inès Giudici

Let’s Drink by O’ar Pali

Don’tSpeak. Let’s Drink.  Let’s Have A shot.  Let’s Not GetCaught,  In These SeaweedTowers, Or These Crawling Cities, With Their Drowning Cars,  And Their Busy BodyMen,  With Their Bright Lies,  In their Swimming Pools OfDirt,  And their Tentacles Of Thought. No.That All Serves Us Nought.  Just Sucks Us Dry, Until We die.  Let’s Not Have That.  Let’s Order, Jack!  Let’s HaveA chin-chinTo Apollo’s Grin, That Heals And Mocks, All That’s Within.  Let’s Have One more,  Let’s Land On some Shore,  Where Dolphins Sing,Instead Of swim, And Lions Purr,Instead Of Roar,  Let’s Embark, For the Ark, To thatCrazy Park. …Let’s Have A…Sancerre, Pretend We don’t Care.  …Do you Hear That  Croon? Life Out Of Tune?  HearThat whipOf Wings?  Good. NowSee it Salute, To that Mad,Champagne Flute.  Let’s have Another! Let us Not Bother,  With OurGrowing Past  JustSee, How  It Grasps!  Like An infant,OrA Child,It Demands Us Entire. …Aww,Don’tYou Love  Melancholy,  How It Breaks The Monotony,   How it Warms The…TimeLike  Afine Wine?  No!We shallNot Be … Continue reading Let’s Drink by O’ar Pali

Simulacrum by John Jack Jackie (Edward) Cooper

It’s a Belmondo day, a morning À bout de souffle — “The Girl” giving away AM New York mumbles French. Disjunct, the sun, double- jointed like a thumb, traces ellipse, bound to the earth by suspicion, uncertain whereabouts, up to something no doubt, lost in thought. But now the tissue of clouds as illusion tears, letting color there be light, sound deafen exposure of black … Continue reading Simulacrum by John Jack Jackie (Edward) Cooper

The Opiate Books Presents Lindsay Lohan Stole My Life: A Satire of the 00s

The book that was too hot to handle in Hollywood and all other mainstream locales (basically just leaving Italy, where scandal is sacrosanct and nobody reads anyway). Find out the truth about the 00s and the butterfly effect of Lindsay Lohan not only on our current Kardashian-Jenner driven culture, but on ex-socialite and underdog Tate Carmichael. Buy a tangible copy online at here. Or … Continue reading The Opiate Books Presents Lindsay Lohan Stole My Life: A Satire of the 00s

Muted Mixtape by Layla Lenhardt

That winter split me like firewood. I was smaller,splintered, Elliott Smith would play on cassette in my blue Volkswagenwhile our breath coursed through flared nostrils and damaged lungs.  *I hid my pain like a sick dog. I slinkedout, under the back deck, I swallowed some pills.In those hideous places I can still smell the acrid, peaty heat of your breath, reeking like remorse.  *But even though you swore that you left I … Continue reading Muted Mixtape by Layla Lenhardt