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Satire

The Opiate Books Presents Lindsay Lohan Stole My Life: A Satire of the 00s

The book that was too hot to handle in Hollywood and all other mainstream locales (basically just leaving Italy, where scandal is sacrosanct and nobody reads anyway). Find out the truth about the 00s and the butterfly effect of Lindsay Lohan not only on our current Kardashian-Jenner driven culture, but on ex-socialite and underdog Tate Carmichael. Buy a tangible copy online at Bookshop.org here. Or … Continue reading The Opiate Books Presents Lindsay Lohan Stole My Life: A Satire of the 00s

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Poetry

“… if you’re lost enough to find yourself …” by Carolyn Martin

… if you’re lost enough to find yourself …–Robert Frost, “Directive” Before we knew pollution was a word, we played beneath yellow skies. Down the roadbelching stacks didn’t seem troubling.Nor did the miracles of DDT, plastic bottles and bags, or gas-guzzlerstestifying to our white picket dreams.We snubbed the signs in hurricanes, fires and droughts. Discounted leaded paint and pipes.Muted the whimpering of bees. Ignorancehad a way of keeping … Continue reading “… if you’re lost enough to find yourself …” by Carolyn Martin

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Poetry

Hippocampus by Alex LeGrys

The angel of acedia is drunkfrom a chalice that neverruns dry–she livesin the grandest chamberof the mind. she is lying naked ona black leather couch, reading a book of Beckett’sor Woolf’s and the onlything she pays heedto is her jade planteach morning she has thick blackhair that she neverbothers brushing andher eyes are so dark theycould never shimmerat children or kittens asyours do she is beautiful … Continue reading Hippocampus by Alex LeGrys

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Essay

“The Things I Once Enjoyed Just Keep Me Employed Now”: On the Benefits of Artistic Obscurity

There is an undeniable sadness to knowing that—short of a goddamn miracle—you’re going to end up dying in obscurity like Kafka. Oh sure, you can tell yourself you’ll be that “rare exception” and that you’ve got “true talent” (as if that’s what publishing is about) that outshines all the rest, but you may eventually find that you aren’t rare and talent isn’t enough. And yet, … Continue reading “The Things I Once Enjoyed Just Keep Me Employed Now”: On the Benefits of Artistic Obscurity

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Poetry

Nectar of the Gods by Claire Andréani

Take the words out of yourmouth like a nectarfrom the Gods Take the silence of theNight as a sign theworld you shouldAdore Take the rising babies’cries as a hope of re-awakening And the sweet breeze ofthe Mountain–as a Secretto be keeping– Take the useless laughterAs a sign of departure– Take the fools and DrunkardsAs the models of Failure Take the pain in the HeartAs a … Continue reading Nectar of the Gods by Claire Andréani

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Criticism

The Library and Literature of Gunpowder Milkshake

There are few movies that make libraries “sexy” (or even use libraries at all for that matter). Certainly not The Pagemaster. Maybe Funny Face. But with Navot Papushado’s latest film, Gunpowder Milkshake, the cachet of the library might just get a brief defibrillation (because Ghostbusters and The Day After Tomorrow certainly did not make the library look inviting, nor did Sex and the City: The Movie with Carrie and her dramatic “left at the … Continue reading The Library and Literature of Gunpowder Milkshake

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Poetry

Space Phobia by Dale Champlin

After I move out of here—if I make it—I want art, laughter and music. What is the term for the terrorof being alone in a huge open spacesomething like an asteroidtraveling at the speed of lightthrough vast emptiness?  I might tumble—a fear so pervasivethat at times I find myselfcrawling across the pine floor.Even then I might encounter a scorpion,a dozing rattler, or a black widow.While upright … Continue reading Space Phobia by Dale Champlin

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Poetry

Fortune Cookie Writer with Tourette’s by Richard Weaver

You are a tall dark stranger. And one strange son-of-a-bitch. Unfortunately, you’re also a fucking ugly bastard, and will never meet ANYONE who will change that fact; not even a top-shelf plastic surgeon. All of your children will be born in a landfill, each one whelped by the open sewer that is your common-law wife. All will die of humiliation and lead-poisoning. Just so you … Continue reading Fortune Cookie Writer with Tourette’s by Richard Weaver

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Poetry

Back in the USSR by Cynthia Andrews

We would have dancedto the Beatles, you andI, with a vodka in onehand and our poetryin the other. I would have taught you some  New steps you undoubtedlynever heard of before: gosoftly, don’t shout and singwhen you can’t find the wordsto speak your sadness.   How I would have paid any-thing to have seen you growold, the blonde thinning, thegorgeous smile smothered inmy kisses and your wrinkles  From … Continue reading Back in the USSR by Cynthia Andrews

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Poetry

Bubonic Colonic by Zeke Greenwald

Blood gets transfused into my veinsFrom a bag which from the ceiling hangs;Some pipettes from the bottom runLike legs with someone else’s blood. So the maroon cephalopodFloats from the pole it’s fastened on;Staved by a hook, it makes a squid,Who slowly bleeds out drip by drip;I lay below the drying fishOf plastic bag with blood in it. What is blood, but such basic stuff,But blood’s … Continue reading Bubonic Colonic by Zeke Greenwald

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