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Satire

The Opiate Books Presents Lindsay Lohan Stole My Life: A Satire of the 00s

The book that was too hot to handle in Hollywood and all other mainstream locales (basically just leaving Italy, where scandal is sacrosanct and nobody reads anyway). Find out the truth about the 00s and the butterfly effect of Lindsay Lohan not only on our current Kardashian-Jenner driven culture, but on ex-socialite and underdog Tate Carmichael. Tate Carmichael Lindsay Lohan Stole My Life: A Satire … Continue reading The Opiate Books Presents Lindsay Lohan Stole My Life: A Satire of the 00s

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Poetry

Toward a Hermeneutics of Language in Which Poetry is Mistaken for Violets by Ann Pedone

This is the trouble with language.It moves with borrowed light. Lingersbetween loverssky and birda woman’s body and your mouth. It is a thing that grows as the light moves.Follows the revolutionsof the sun.Is consumed by the appetites of the soil. I list all of the men I have loved. Those who have left me and all the rest. And as I collapse into a sleep that is notI reachfor your shoulderas you moveto your side … Continue reading Toward a Hermeneutics of Language in Which Poetry is Mistaken for Violets by Ann Pedone

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Criticism

Harry Potter Was Always Pedestrian & J.K. Rowling’s Views Match That

I never fucked with Harry Potter. At least not in the same incredibly overzealous way other people did for most of the 00s. I was a casual peruser after the first book (which didn’t hook me)–just to see what, exactly, all the fuss was about this cultural phenomenon that had managed to get so many otherwise illiterate Americans to read. Clearly, that illiteracy still applied … Continue reading Harry Potter Was Always Pedestrian & J.K. Rowling’s Views Match That

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Fiction

Last Night of Verse by Michael Berton

 The microphone hums. Its shadow flutters on the page, a circumlunar echo resonates emanating from the readers printed word, calibrated rolling redolent off the tongue, quenches the mouth. Moist to the ears, the chug of the last train that night for the West Coast pulled in all debris of sound. Along with the waitress’ last call for service among a scattered dozen remaining on the bougainvillea-filled patio. … Continue reading Last Night of Verse by Michael Berton

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Poetry

Affair by Michael T. Smith

We kissed under the guillotine,hoping for something lean, and Nyx watching the unionof our two lips lying, jealously– “Our excuse makes a solid ground,”she said, tearing at her nylon grey. “The ground?”  I replied,“We ought to just die and call it a day.” We skipped along like hooligans, knowing something the rest of the world did not, saying“ancips” and other Latin words that rot. I thought. She smiled,not knowing geometry. “But … Continue reading Affair by Michael T. Smith

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Essay

Virginie Despentes Gives A Michel Houellebecq-Style Statement on Racism in France

Virginie Despentes and Michel Houellebecq are not really two French writers whose names go hand in hand. In fact, it’s highly likely that the former despises the latter for his unapologetic brand of chauvinism and the latter despises the former for her “feminist bullshit.” And yet, her recent statement on the problem of racism in an open letter called “Lettre adressée à mes amis blancs … Continue reading Virginie Despentes Gives A Michel Houellebecq-Style Statement on Racism in France

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Essay

Henry Miller Is Laughing His Ass Off Right Now

As the U.S. churns and burns with its long barely dormant rage, agog at losing its self-righteous air of superiority to other countries with “less,” one can’t help but think of how completely amused Henry Miller would be by the nation caving in on itself and its so-called “principles.” Looking at America from a far away viewpoint, as has been the privilege of many a … Continue reading Henry Miller Is Laughing His Ass Off Right Now

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Essay

Cops & the Pig That Built His House Out of Bricks

The fable known as “The Three Little Pigs” materialized in Western consciousness circa the 1840s (though the tale is believed to have been around for much longer), touting an underlying message about putting in the hard work necessary to build something lasting. And while the immediate association between a cop and a pig who builds his house out of bricks is that he is stubborn … Continue reading Cops & the Pig That Built His House Out of Bricks

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