Am I to settle for a lie…
Something deeply known within my heart
to be false.
If you were love you would understand me.
In a way that I can trust.
I knew a man once — who did love me.
The way I needed to be loved. He let me go.
He let me be. That was enough.
I cannot settle for a liar, a
match made out of despair. Even though right
now I am in this pit; this pitiful pitiless forest
called life. I don’t know where I went wrong,
where I zigged instead of zagged. And yet I long
for a love that makes me feel as though my skin
were kissed by the sun and bathed in coconut milk.
Instead of lard; the cold
oily drippings of leftover pig grease.