– Are you writing anything nowadays?
– I don’t write.
– Ever?
– Ever.
– Why so?
– I just can’t. Every time a story pops up in my head, I try to lay it on paper, but as soon as I write the first sentence, I think it is the first thing ever written by humanity, and immediately stop.
– Well, the good thing is, you’re not that dramatic.
– Guess not.
– I do write. A lot. I have too much of a vivid imagination to deprive myself of writing. I make up characters, plots, histories at every hour of the day. It exhausts me to keep them locked in my head, you know? I feel the need to write stories to understand myself.
– I only feel the need to drink hot chocolate, to be honest.
– Not even coffee?
– I hate coffee.
– How old are you again?
– Eighty-four.
– Do you smoke?
– Never touched a cigarette in my whole life.
– And how did you manage to survive all this long time without coffee and writing?
– Reading. I suffer from Stendhal syndrome. I cry when I read marvelous things.
– So you survived thanks to your tears?
– Keeps me hydrated.
– So you’re a softie. Like a girl.
– What’s so bad about being soft like a woman? Why is it man or whoever, some poor bastard, some queen, can’t be sensitive too?
– I get your point.
– I hope so, it was not a difficult one.
– You’re funny.
– Keeps me young.
– So both men and women cry.
– That’s not the rule. You are stone cold. I have never seen you shed a single tear for seventeen years.
– I was one seventeen years ago.
– My point exactly.
– What is the last thing you read?
– My horoscope.
– Really? What’d it say?
– That I am mean.
– Gemini?
– No, dragon.
– Huh?
– It was a Chinese horoscope.
– Dragon is kind of cool.
– I didn’t like Game of Thrones.
– I’m starving.
– I already ordered three plates of waffles.
– You know me well, Pops.
– Eighteen years next to you my girl, starting to catch on.
– Did I tell you about this girl I am seeing?
– No. Shoot.
– Well, she doesn’t know me.
– That’s good.
– Yeah?
– For her, yeah.
– Thanks.
– Anytime.
– I think I love her.
– And I’m the dramatic one. Have you ever talked to her?
– Yes.
– Somewhere other than your dreams.
– Yes.
– Somewhere other than in your own head?
– No.
– I figured.
– She is very nice looking.
– Well, if you love her without even knowing her, I should hope so.
– I can’t get close to her though. I don’t really know what it is about me…the kind that pushes people away, you know? It’s not only about her, but there is just something about me. Maybe it is because I exclusively allow intuitions to lead my path. I don’t act enough. And I think I am way too passionate. I mean one gaze, and then boom. Head over heels. Or maybe it is because of my father. Or my mother. Or both. Or none.
– Hum.
– And you know, it is just so typical, like every time I get along with somebody I run away, you know. Like I just cannot handle proximity. I only like people I don’t know, because they can never disappoint me.
– Hum.
– You are the only exception. You, I let come close.
– Hum.
– Hey Pops?
– Hum.
– Mostly, I think she doesn’t want to date me because she’s afraid she’ll turn into a panther.
– Hum. [pause]. Wait, what?
– Just checking to see if you were listening.
– Oh. I wasn’t.
– Makes me feel special.
– You should, you are the only one who bores me this much.
– So unique.
– Too unique for your own good.
– I like it.
– You’re the only one that does.
– Really?
– Yeah. Adds up to that whole “unicity” concept.
– What do you think about Einstein’s theory of relativity?
– Here we go again.
– I watched Interstellar yesterday, and I thought space was so interesting that I bought an astrophysics book.
– Took you this much time to realize space is interesting?
– I only thought it beautiful before. Very superficial of me actually. I never cease to surprise and amaze myself. But I guess it adds up to that unicity and passionate stuff I was telling you about before.
– Will you ever stop speaking?
– Wait, this is a very important point. Matthew McConaughey is in that movie.
– Ah.
– Anyway. I’ll make it short. I don’t know if I agree with Einstein.
– Well, why would you?
– YES! It’s not because he’s this famous scientist that you just have to listen to him.
– Do you hear yourself speaking?
– Not really actually, I was at the club last night.
– Before of after realizing what a dummy Albert is?
– Before.
– Makes sense.
– Interstellar was disappointing, Matthew was the only good thing about it. It didn’t explore science enough.
– You poor little petty girl.
– AND they mentioned Einstein, but without any analysis whatsoever.
– Well in film, you can’t go into analytical explorations because the audience will reject that.
– That was wise Pops.
– I have my moments.
– Can we order some brownies too? Heard they are really fun here in Amsterdam.
– I think you’ve had enough of these at the infamous “Einstein is stupid realization” party.
– You know, come to think of it, there may have been pot in those brownies.
– Shocking.
– Ah, the waffles have arrived.