Un Certain Schadenfreude Over Hetero White Male “Writers” Losing Their Coffee Shops As Posts For Self-Aggrandizement

With the bad, one must find the good where they can. The loss of the pseudo-intellectual city dweller’s go-to coffee shop amid the coronavirus outbreak has been an undeniable gut punch to small businesses that somehow seemed to have gotten less of a financial bailout from the government than the major corporations (quelle surprise, for it’s just like when the legal mafia a.k.a. government bailed … Continue reading Un Certain Schadenfreude Over Hetero White Male “Writers” Losing Their Coffee Shops As Posts For Self-Aggrandizement

We Are All Gregor Samsa Now

Few knew better than Franz Kafka that life, if nothing else, is an inexplicably cruel joke. Seemingly orchestrated by an invisible sadist (sometimes called God). That the very term “Kafkaesque” is designed to connote a nightmarish tableau in which all signs of logic and reason have vanished in favor of convoluted blether is telling of his impact on our lives. Our lives in which dealing … Continue reading We Are All Gregor Samsa Now

ISIS ISIS, Baby by Zeke Greenwald

Because businesses struggling in this tough economic time need all the help they can get: Because cultural institutions without our diligence will disappear even more swiftly: I present: Why I Am Joining the Islamic State. If we find ourselves fortunate enough to have a certain amount of financial stability in the current health and economic crisis; as coronavirus rends our society; we should take the … Continue reading ISIS ISIS, Baby by Zeke Greenwald

The Corona Honeymoon, Pt. 2 by Elles Rebelles

Read Part 1 of The Corona Honeymoon here. **** The crazy thing about living in the West, is that we saw corona coming in slow motion–and yet we didn’t take it seriously. We could study all the death charts of other countries, and yet I was told, “I think you’re being crazy” when I asked Sergei not to take public transport. It’s March 16th, we … Continue reading The Corona Honeymoon, Pt. 2 by Elles Rebelles

The Corona Honeymoon, Pt. 1 by Elles Rebelles

1. Our relationship has always been propelled forward by apocalypse. After declining his house key many times (let me fuck you with a strap-on, then we can talk about moving in together) the coronavirus has propelled us into a living together experiment. It’s Friday the thirteenth. If there was one person I wanted to be in quarantine with, it was him. Him, with his smug … Continue reading The Corona Honeymoon, Pt. 1 by Elles Rebelles

The PornME Trinity Interview With David Leo Rice

While the times are inarguably grim, and dystopian literature suddenly seems all too real, the strange relevance of one of The Opiate Books’ first published works on the imprint, The PornME Trinity, is perhaps a more cautionary tale than ever as we move into forced self-quarantine. Below we discuss everything from the genesis of the project to the advent of coronavirus fetish porn. The Opiate: … Continue reading The PornME Trinity Interview With David Leo Rice