I wanted to write about those bitches
about how they followed me onto
the bus every day after school and spit
in my hair
about how they waited on my corner for me
to walk by and they hurled rocks at me
or chased me for blocks to cut me
to hurt

I was gonna put on paper how they crank-called me
just to call me names
Slut
Lesbian
Dyke
Cunt

I was gonna admit that……
yeah I stopped going to school
I stopped going outside altogether
and when they couldn’t get at me
they would ring the bell and pleasantly call upon me
as if we were old friends
even study partners
but I wouldn’t come out of my room

I was gonna say how it took a lifetime
to walk out the front door again and
I thought the passage was safe but they
no sooner found me and came at me
all of them

I wasn’t sure if I should admit that I wished them
dead
every one of those ugly bitches
that bullied me because…..well…..
…….I never actually knew why
I knew only simple things back then

the boys liked me
the girls liked me
I liked me
then I never liked me – or anyone
again

after the first beating
when six girls jump on you and pummel
your face
you give up and pray to fade away into air

I was gonna say how much faster than me
I thought they were back then
much smarter
stronger
because they knew
I was a threat
and the only way to smite a threat
is to rub it out completely