Philadelphia by Joseph Buehler

It’s a long way to Philadelphia unless you take the back roads.
(East Philadelphia is full of greeting card writers who tend to
overindulge in drink.)
It’s a very long way to Nebraska by the side roads.
It’s a short distance to Wyoming if you take the Utah roads.
It’s a long long long way to Detroit via the Smith Cemetery route.
In fact you’ll never get there.
You’ll wind up (maybe) in Kansas.
But I wouldn’t count on it.
It’s a circular way around “the loop” if you want to go around Athens,
Ga.
But there are two half circular loops so you might wind up in Pittsburgh
in the “inner city” surrounded by convenience stores where dogs are sold
quite cheaply.
If you want your computer to run efficiently you might take it to “Mack’s
Computers” in the finger lakes region of South Carolina, along the “southern
shore” route.
Even though Mack died ten years ago.
His son Fergus may help you, though he probably won’t because he hates
everybody.
That’s enough said about that subject.
If you are an intrepid traveler then I and many other people pity you.
Whatever you do, stay out of Russia and I wouldn’t advise North Korea either.
You can drown quite easily in the South China Sea.
Also the South China Sea is full of sharks.
So is the North China Sea for that matter.
I don’t know anything at all about the East China Sea, but I’d stay away from
it anyway.
It’s much safer in Philadelphia, except for the north side and maybe the road
leading off to Upper Sandusky.

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