Exhale by Gracie Bialecki

I keep my head high, eyes on the horizon, 
know that every refusal brings me closer to what I want.
I keep my feet firm, stand ground on my boundaries,
know there’s a way forward, we just haven’t found it.

And you fixate on one thing the way it must be, 
while I’m thinking of all the other sides that I see.
And you repeat the same thing, stuck in your stories,
and no, it’s not funny, I just hope you break free.

Maybe I can’t take a joke,
still hold a grudge,
could stop settling scores,
and learn to just love.

Maybe I always want more,
and can’t not control,
then beat myself up,
when I could just let it flow.

Maybe I was born with bad luck,
or every day is a dream,
watch the world rip wide open,
learn to laugh when I bleed.

And, sorry to hit it with the tone shift, 
but I’m not someone to carry on with.
And, stop acting like you didn’t notice, 
when we both already know this.

And, maybe we should just hold up and down shift,
‘cause I’d rather talk about some real shit,
than running through another laundry list,
or where you’ve been and all the people you get noticed with.

It went on so long I couldn’t stay 
then I thought too much for many days
until I was finally sure, no shades of gray.

Had doubt scattered around me like a trash parade,
packed it up with my hope and went on my way.
Know I’ll quit the cult before I drink the Kool-Aid
get back the woods and see what I can save.

Some days it’s so hard, I don’t know what I can do.
Some days it’s too much, I barely get through.

I’ve been staying so busy there’s no space for my grief,
and even at night, I can’t rest in peace.
Might’ve moved first never thought you would leave,
now I’m walking the streets don’t know what to believe.

And I keep watching the clouds cut by the breeze,
the rings of the moon and the lighted city.
And the day after rain we breath in the clear air,
and exhale 
             everything that got us here.

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