Thank you for submitting to Girdle
We very much appreciate the opportunity
to read your work

We read your poems with interest,
but have decided that they do not
meet our current needs

How could I know your current needs?
Unless, of course, I am in your inner circle
and know the dates of your upcoming
dental appointments
and/or recent traumas

We know this is a particularly difficult time to
receive this kind of news

Huh?
It is the type of news I most receive

Please know that your submission was read
with care and appreciation
Sending work out is always an act of courage

Really?
Perhaps it is an act of amnesia or stupidity
It seems especially so now

We admire your courage

I have been calibrating my courage
for a few decades
Final conclusion; I don’t have much

But, thank you for
the honor of considering your work
We wish you and your poems the best
And thank you again for thinking
enough of Girdle to send us your work

Sounds a bit backhanded
Full disclosure:
Not sure what
I think of you either

*Previously published in Umbrella Factory Magazine