THE DONALD ISSUES AN APOLOGY-CUM-EXPLANATION-CUM-CLARIFICATION IN THE MANNER OF MCGONAGALL
“Those who know me know I would not dare ever
Refer thoughtlessly about a lady’s wherever,
In the sense, that is, of thoughtless disparagement
Of her lady parts, which are in marriage meant
To solace and give comfort to her wedded spouse
Because to do otherwise would label the speaker a louse.
So, Megyn, these words are meant only to assure you
I really respect and would under no circumstances abjure you.
It’s just that as a male God gave me dominion
Over you, and that’s not just my opinion.
The Church Fathers, after all, noted that Adam had rule
Over Eve, and anyone who doesn’t believe it is not cool.
So, I hope I’ve made it clear and you’ll harbor no animosity,
And try to tampon down some of your female ferocity.”
AN INVIDIOUS COMPARISON
As The Donald is sounding his horn,
And subjecting his party to scorn,
In the east, al-Assad,
And Isis play god,
The jihadis of carnage and porn.
THE TRUMP OF DOOM
Now The Donald will go them one more:
Like the old gods, he’s gung-ho on war.
He’d search out and destroy
From Beirut to Amboy,
And by doing so even the score.
THE PEROXIDE PUNDIT
In his lunatic brain, The Great Trump
Thinks, “If you disagree, you’re a chump.”
“No stare decisis
“When dealing with Isis!”
And the suckers keep priming his pump!
Not like a Gemini rocket
breaking through cloud cover
to soar into the velveteen sky,
not like an arrow launched
from a steel-strung bow by a
warrior hot on the hunt,
not like a hero or heroine pressed
into the fray by circumstance who
wins through to painful victory,
but like a balloon, overburdened
by hot air, escaping the will and hand
of a fretful child who watches it sail away
This is the second in a three-day sequence of poems by Stuart Jay Silverman about the United States’ next potential dictator. Silverman’s work can also be found in Volume 4 of our print issue and here.