Penis Envy by Ron Kolm

didn’t start with
Trump and Putin.
Unfortunately, it
Goes all the way back
To the dawn of man.
Two males in a cave
Waving their clubs around
Stare at each other
In fear and envy.
“Mine’s bigger,” one shouts.
“No, mine is!” yells back
The other.
And then they start
Bashing each other until
Only one guy is left standing,
One hand gripping his club
The other cupping his manhood.
He almost seems to smile
As he leaves to find some women
To yell at and push around.
Eventually stones, then spears,
Then bows and arrows
Become methods of fornicating.
Crossbows, muskets,
Cannons and bombs were all used
To fuck innocent people
Until finally the big one
Arrived on the scene.
Nuclear weapons are the biggest dicks yet,
So we have to keep a watchful eye
On all the tiny fools
With their fingers near the buttons.

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