but years ago a friend of mine—now deceased—
told me that Beethoven would often compose
while nude from the bottom down, sitting on
a bench that had a large hole in it, with a bucket
just below the hole so that if he had to urinate
or defecate he wouldn’t have to get up and
potentially lose part of what he was working on.

And my friend also said that Ludwig had
a devoted female lover who used to clean out
the bucket and then quietly put it back.

Now, if this is true, I think she should have
been made into a saint because I know of
no woman who would do something like that.

I know that my own wife—who’s made plenty
of sacrifices for me, and loves me very much—
would never do such a thing even if I were
the most famous writer in the world and she revered
my work…